So, the other day I was rocking the gnome to sleep and I noticed he had booger nose. As I wiped the booger off his nose with my bare hand I started to wonder,
“When did I become a mom?”
I mean, I think I know the exact moment I became a mother, it was either when I found out I was pregnant or when I gave birth. But I don’t think that was the moment I became a mom.
I don’t think I was a mom when they plopped the gnome on my chest in the delivery room.
I don’t even think I was a mom yet when we brought him home from the hospital. I was shocked they even let us leave the hospital with him. Alone, with no supervision.
I know I wasn’t a mom in the first week or two – I was a zombie, but not a mom.
I’m not maternal, I’ve never been maternal. In fact, kids kind of terrify me. But I had this squirmy little bundle of joy in my arms, I had spit up on my pants, and I realized something.
I’m the gnome’s mom.
I still don’t feel like a mom. I know I’m a mom. I nurse him, I change & wash his diapers, I puree organic produce for him to eat, I wash his clothes, I bathe him every night, I rock him to sleep for naps and at bedtime. I am a mom. I just don’t know exactly when I became one.
Other people’s kids still terrify me. I’m not maternal. I have a hard time talking to kids. Most of the time I just stand real still and hope they can’t see me. It works more often than you think. I don’t even know if I like kids. I like my kid.
So, I still don’t know when I became a mom. But sometime during the last 5 1/2 months, I did. I became a mom to the most incredible little boy. A little boy that looks exactly like me and sleeps (or doesn’t) just like me. A little boy that has his dad’s silly facial expressions. A little boy that can not resist smiling when you smile at him, even if he’s really mad.
I can’t wait to have another one.
What about you? When did you realize you were a mommy? Was it right away or did it take longer like it did for me? And, if ya like me, then like me on facebook!