It Hurts

I thought losing someone close to me was hard. Turns out, watching my husband lose someone close to him was even harder.

My husband’s grandfather passed away on Wednesday evening. His grandfather was his favorite person in the world. The only other person that can come close to competing is The Gnome.

We got word that he was really struggling after The Gnome went to bed that night. We were in the middle of moving everything from the borrowed motorhome to the travel trailer we bought. We threw the rest of our stuff into the travel trailer (because it locks and the motorhome door is only held closed with a bungee), dropped two of the dogs off at my sisters, and left Oklahoma by 10:30.

We got word just a half hour or so into our drive that he didn’t make it.

I was in physical pain watching my husband grieve. It took everything I had to hold it together for him and The Gnome. Backing off when he needs it is still hard, but I think I’ve been able to do that too.

I’m writing this Thursday evening, but I have no internet access so it won’t post until we get back. The viewing is tomorrow and the funeral is Saturday.

I hate that my husband has to go through this. For the past two years, I’ve been able to fix everything that hurts – for both of my boys. And I know I can’t fix this.

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